7月28日雅思大作文
“Some people who have been in prison become good citizens. Some people therefore think that they are the best people to talk to school students the danger of committing a crime. To what extent do you agree or disagree with this opinion?”
高分范文
01
Many criminals can be reformed people after they serve their time in jail. [习语表达:serve the/somebody’s time] Since theirfaults have been rectified [原形rectify], I would, if I were a school principal, [故意设计一个虚拟语气,丰富语法现象] invite those ex-criminals to help my teachers foster students’ good behavior.
02
The primary consideration is that [引导表语从句] those former offenders’ real-life cases are lessons that are more convincing than what an effective teacher could be. Teachers may [在这里不表可能性,表让步] demonstrate numerous examples in their classes; however, those cases may not be as authentic and compelling as they should be until they are told by an ex-criminal in person. Teachers may [在这里不表可能性,表让步] be role models in behavior; students may however develop no clear awareness of abiding by[abide by the rules unless they actually see the consequences of breaking them.[两个长难句组成此段落的重要内容,注意比较teachers和ex-criminals的对比,是内容设计的关键] Both situations are where [引导名词词组] reformed ex-criminals should be invited into classrooms.
03
In addition, teachers do not compare with [这个词组用主动语态时意义为“比得上”] ex-criminals for their likely patronizing [原形:patronize orintimidating [原形:intimidate] attitude is undesirable. Those corrected and changed criminals are otherwise humble. When patronized or frightened [原形:frighten], students, young and prone to be rebellious, may be provoked [原形:provoke] and act against rules knowingly. This is a risk that no school would like to take. Instead, a modest attitude is more welcome. Former criminals, unlike teachers, who may act like saints, are regretful about the harm and damage they have caused and thus oftenadopt a gentle and moderate attitude. [长难句]
[如果可以在body部分设计2-3个长难句,也就2-3个足够了,语言表述部分会有提分]
04
In conclusion, it is an adoptable proposition that [引导主语从句] former offenders who have turned over a new leaf [习语表达:turn over a new leaf] can be good teachers for students learning to behave. Since they have changed, they are safe. Most importantly, they have the potential to outperform professional teachers.
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